Mourning Matteo & Rome

A thousand words won't bring you back;
I know because I tried.
And neither will a thousand tears;
I know because I've cried.

Ah, yes... the mourning stage.  It's taken me 4.5 months (19 weeks) to start opening up; the same amount of time that I was pregnant with them when they died, and now less than two weeks from their due date.  Anger has finally calmed down (it's taken a long time) but I'm still very negative about everyone and everything--I'm very pessimistic now.  I've finally gotten over Denial, since I no longer tell myself they weren't real and nothing happened.  Dealing with some things from my past cleared up some of my feeling and helped me to acknowledge their deaths, and the real Sad is just starting to show up.  Thirteen days until Rome & Matteo's due date: Tuesday, September 27.

We Only Wanted You

Author Unknown

They say memories are golden;
well, maybe that is true.
We never wanted memories,
we only wanted you.

A million times we needed you,
a million times we’ve cried.
If love alone could have saved you,
you never would have died.

In life we loved you dearly,

in death we love you still.
In our hearts you hold a place
no one can ever fill.

If tears could build a stairway
and heartache make a lane,
We’d walk the path to heaven
to bring you back again.

Our family chain is broken,
and nothing seems the same.
But as God calls us one by one,
the chain will link again.