Funny foster parent texts :)

An actual picture I have texted to my husband within the past ten days

Fairy Godmothers:
I have officially outlawed the phrase "I wish" from our house, directly following the fifth "I wish I could have cereal for dinner..." comment that I had already responded to three times.  They are allowed to say directly, "can I have this?" and then listen to the answer, but they're not allowed to wistfully say "I wish I had that," progressively getting louder until I hear them.  I told them we are not fairy godmothers.

Hypocrisy:
They asked for cereal for dinner and I said no, and now I am having cereal while they're in bed because I need it, and also because I am a bad person.

The Baby Hooha Talk:
We had to cut baby naked time short due to extensive curiosity that I was not ready to address.
Maybe you should take the time to explain it now.  Let's be ahead of the game.

Naughty baby daughter:
Former cute baby for sale.
I have a dollar.
How about 50 cents?
Deal, I'll take her.  Could you make her cute again though?
No I couldn't, the cuteness has expired.
25 cents then?

Honey badger babies:
This honey badger has slept 45 minutes since 6am, and it's 11:52. I'm scared of her.

Toxic waste:
I could have used a respirator for that last diaper.  Why couldn't she be anything like me?

Bedwetting:
He just said, "today's my fifth day of not wetting the bed!"
Was he really sleepwalking through all of that last night?!
He just asked me, "why am I in my underwear?" and I said, "do you remember peeing your pants in the hallway last night?" Nope.

Baby thieves:
Um I noticed that you had not quite opened your oatmeal cream pies.  I think the babies might steal some or something.  Sorry bout that.
But babies don't need oatmeal cream pies.
Tell them that! There are two missing!
Naughty, naughty babies...