Getting rid of that gorgeous long hair, with permission from his mother. Foster parents are only allowed to get a child's hair cut with permission from the parent. We had to buy clippers and do this cut ourselves because salons won't cut hair that has lice.
Within 30 days of initial placement after being taken from their homes, foster children must receive a physical exam from a doctor. Within 60 days, they must also have eye and dental exams. Birth parents are encouraged to attend all appointments with the foster parents, who have medical authorization for the child.
At our children's physical exams, their mother pointed out that they have lice. I never thought to check, as they generally do their own hair and they've never complained of itching. The kids later told us that they're used to the itching because they get lice all the time; they've had it at least 3-4 times before this, that they can remember. They said they've gotten it from friends' houses and from sleeping on the floor of the shelter, where bugs crawl in your hair at night. We got prescriptions from the doctor and have been treating and washing hair, blankets, clothes, pillows, coats, and everything else in our house.
On top of that, we cannot kick the sickness around here! I got sick first, four days after the kids arrived. Cody got sick a day or two after me, followed by both babies and maybe now one of the older kids. We found out at the doctor that all three kids came to us in the middle of treatment for the flu, for which two of them had gone to the ER due to complications. They never finished their medicine, which was for type A for one kid, type B for another, and both types for the third. I'm on day 12 of being sick, and we're pretty sure I've cycled through both types of flu--even though I had the flu shot in October. The babies are barely starting to get better after about 9 days each of being sick, with a lot of screaming at night and during the day because they're miserable.
My goal in spreading foster care awareness is to help people see the need for good foster parents, while also painting an accurate picture of what to expect. It's rewarding and very, very challenging. Lately I've been thinking about an experience I had in Chile, where my mission companion and I befriended a homeless teenager who had been living on the streets for months. We found him sleeping on the grass one morning outside the house of an older lady who put coffee and bread out for him each day. We wanted to help him, so we used our connections to find someone who could give him a job to help him get out of his situation. We knew his past was littered with illegal activity, and we told our friend with the job to be aware and to not be surprised if the boy stole from him. The man was eager to help and brushed off the warning about stealing, excited to do something to better the life of another. Within a week, we got an angry phone call from the man who was furious that the boy had vanished after stealing an expensive piece of equipment from him, after all he had done for him. Change does not come quickly or painlessly, for any involved.
My point in sharing that story is to show that doing good sometimes comes with a cost. During these past two weeks, we've been fighting the worst illnesses we've ever had while trying to maintain a home with three new children who need us all day, every day. Our house has been ransacked, once again, trying to conquer the lice that have entered our home. We've done dozens of loads of laundry in 16 days. Cody and I have not slept more than 2 hours in a row, and a total of 6 hours of sleep a night would be a dream. We're sick, we're emotionally and physically exhausted, and we have a lot of work to do to stay on top of everything right now. Foster care is important and it's needed, and it's very hard. I'm sure it won't always be so intense, but this first experience has been quite the change.
I want people to know that good foster parents are needed, yet this decision cannot be made lightly. The thing that helps me get through the hard times is thinking about the children, and remembering that if we don't do this, who will? There is a shortage of foster homes in general, and there is an even greater shortage of good foster homes. These children need good homes. They need someone to love them and take care of them and help them through lice and illness and homesickness and fights with their sibling. And if we don't do it... who will?
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